so, i got a new job and i train tomorrow! yay, they pay me above minimum wage and i'll have better hours. i read my past posts and they all sound whiney and gay and ill probably delete them because they're really so unbearable. lately ive been really frustrated with school and all because i just suck at school. especially science and math. i have a 73% in academic chem. ACADEMIC. that is beyond pathetic. like its really embarrassing that i do so horribly. i just got a 50% on the test we just took. the thing with chemistry is that my brain does not work with it. i cannot understand it. i just cant, and im frustrated because im not doing all that well and everyone i know is. everyone seems to be doing really well with their 4.0s and 4.5s and i barely have a 3.2 like its embarrassing. and it scares me because i want to go to college but im not going to get in anywhere with these grades. im just very nervous and i worry about that all the time, which may be why i've been so testy lately. honestly, everyone around me annoys me. even my friends piss me off. like i get so mad so easily and i dont know why. ive been really mean lately to everyone, and if that includes you im sorry. i dont have any idea what is going on or why im being such an ass hole. ive gained so much weight in the past few months and it makes me so upset. i barely ate for a year and lost a lot of weight and now im gaining it all back and going right back to where i was. which is really upsetting. i hate the way i look. i dont understand how some people can be so beautiful and some can be so ugly. ugh, such a depressing post but whatever. ill try to blog more, if anyone cares. which i doubt anyone does because i have 3 followers.
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