my decision

so if anyone was wondering which i highly doubt anyone is, im going down to one day a week and if they aren't willing to do that then im quitting. dear paycheck, i will miss you dearly.

WiFf LuV, hOlLy xXxXxXxXxXxXx

HELP

so i went to see the doctor today and basically in a nutshell they said that im overwhelmed with school and work and clubs and everything, and that i get anxious blah blah blah. the doctor said that me working inst exactly the best idea so like.. what do i do? do i quit? i guess in the long run that's what best for me but i reaaally need the income :( i mean like for school and stuff it'll be the best option but id drop down to $40 a week when im used to almost $100. and if i did decide i wanted to work again its really hard to get a job, let alone get one while you have an employment gap. if i went down to one day a week though i would make like $35 and then you take taxes out of that.. its just not worth it. someone please help me decide what i should do! :/

cheaters.

i hate the popular girls in my school. what i hate most about them is how they get good grades (or better than me) because they cheat off of everyone and get into the smart classes and its just really annoying because everyone thinks they're just so amazing they don't care if they cheat off them. like, lets be honest. we all do it, and im not saying i don't cheat because i definitely do. i do at least try and make an effort to cover it up and i study for my tests. it really annoyed me today when this girl next to me was like leaned over my desk reading my answers and shes in an honours class, and is a complete airhead. like fuck off? then she goes to claim she studied so0o0o0o0o0o0o hard for some science test.. yeah right. we got our results at the end of the period for the test we took and she was all 'ughhh i got an 85% wow are you kidding me?' she clearly didn't even try to look over the material. it just annoyed me. im done now, this probably isn't making any sense whatsoever. sorry x

been a while..

hi everyone, i know i haven't blogged in forever but every time i thought about it i was like "what do i have to say?". someone on formspring asked me why i didn't update, and said that i should soo here i am.

i guess a lot has happened since i last posted. i'll point out some things ill be talking about:

1. drivers license

2. junior year

3. people

4. clothes

5. food

ONE: yes yes, as you know - if you follow me on twitter - i got my drivers license on august 25th and i love having it. in america, when you get your junior license you can be out on the roads until 11 and then if you're out after then, you can get ticketed and stuff. i've been driving a lot lately, and as lame as it may sound i drove out to see my grandma everyday during the last week of summer because i could and because i had no where else to go! i really love the freedom i have and if i need to run errands (which i do a lot) i can just go get it taken care of. it is amazing and i don't know how i lived without it. well, i do know how i lived.. i lived miserably.

TWO: i started my junior year of high school on the 30th of august. i am almost 2 weeks in. IT IS HELL. i already have so much going on and joined a few clubs and i am going crazy. junior year is really important because that's the year colleges focus on the most and you take standardized tests (GCSEs basically)this year and do college visitations and all. im really not all that good at academics and thinking about where i want to go in life and where i want to go to college really scares me. i just feel like im going to end up at community college or somewhere like clarion or kent state. the colleges i've been looking at are in chicago, and new york. also, in london but thats just a dream school.

THREE: people have really been making me mad lately. my friend pointed out to me that my one friend will like whatever i like and now that she has im really noticing it. i wish she wouldn't do that. she can like what she wants to and she can disagree with me! i just don't want my friends to be putting on an act for me. also, some of my worst enemies (sounds cartoonish i know) are in my classes this year and its so tough to be in the same room as them - basically one person. we don't get a long at all and truth be told, i can't stand the sight of the bitch. i wish i could learn to tune people out and ignore them, but i just can't. she thinks she's better than everyone and i hate people like that. im not going to say much more about people, but i just really hate this ongoing battle. i don't want to be friends but i think we could at least be civil. OH and im also annoyed that drama from last year has carried into this year. what really annoys me about the drama is that it never really had anything to do with the people who took offense to it.

FOUR: clothes. i am also really annoyed about the fact that i basically have 2 wardrobes. my school clothes and my real clothes. my school clothes are things like reaaaaal cute american eagle shirts and that kind of shit. sometimes the wardrobes intermix, but not often. i wish i could have the confidence to wear and buy what i wanted and not care about anyones opinion. once again, thats another thing i can't do.

FIVE: i decided i don't like food. i eat a lot, but i never really feel like eating and im never hungry. i just eat for no reason. but i don't like food. i go out and buy things like mcdonalds and that shit and i don't like it. i don't like the food i get at restaurants and i don't like the food that i have at home. its almost like food has lost its taste to me. i know this sounds really strange but i had to get it off my chest and my mind.

i know this was a really long post so thank you for reading if you got this far! any questions, comments or whatever just type them below, formspring me or send me a tweet. (@hholly_)

BYE FOR NOW xxxxxx